First VBL Newsletter

I have published the first VBL Newsletter. If you would like to read it, please click here. If you would like to subscribe, click here.

30 Days to Live

        A few weeks ago, my fiancee and I rented the move P.S., I Love You for a weekend date-night. Here is a quick summary. Following a plan her husband had laid out for her before his death, letters and messages came to a grieving widow over the course of a year. This woman fought through her despair and gradually came back to the land of the living because of her late husband’s encouragement. This movie got me thinking about our encouragement series on the VBL Blog. I thought this example might show us a new way to encourage those we love. I’m not suggesting you create an elaborate recovery plan like the man in the movie. I’m simply asking you to think about your world without you in it.

        You may not believe me now, but the man in the movie was lucky. After being diagnosed with a terminal condition, he was able to reconcile with his mortality well enough to focus on the one he loved and the legacy he would leave behind. I have some bad news for you; you are not going to live forever on this earth. I have a cynical friend who says that life itself is a terminal condition. The good news is that you too can focus on the ones you love and the legacy you will leave behind. My main question for you on this edition of the VBL Blog is: What would you do if you knew you only have 30 days left to live?

        Would your family know where to find your crucial financial and estate information? I recommend you build a Love Drawer to hold all of your important information. See what financial expert Dave Ramsey says about the Love Drawer.

        What would you want to say to your spouse and your children? Write letters to be delivered on special birthdays or occasions. Or better yet, make a video or a series of videos to express your love to those who matter most to you.

Some other important questions you may want to consider as you live your “last” 30 days:

• Who do you call?
• Where do you go?
• What do you read?
• How much time do you spend sleeping or watching TV?
• What do you pray?

        Live with these questions as you think about your life with the knowledge that you aren’t going to live forever. Many people take this knowledge to mean that they would be able to live without consequences. They reason that they should live for the moment. This is not what values-based living is about. VBL is about living in the moment. Everything that you do has consequences. Aren’t we glad that if we do good things, good things happen? No one on earth knows the exact moment of his or her own death. Shouldn’t we make each day count by living like it could be our last?

Encouragement File

        Do you sometimes find it difficult to stay encouraged while you are trying to achieve your goals? I know I do. Here’s a little trick to help you bounce back if you ever start feeling down, build an Encouragement File. Kind words and compliments help when you start to get discouraged; however, when you need the encouragement, it can be in short supply. Started collecting the kind things that people say, and the cards and notes they send, to save them for just the right occasion. When you start to feel the negative thoughts creeping in, refresh yourself by reading the kind words that others have given to you.
        There is another use for the Encouragement File. In a professional setting, it is often called a Brag File. I have personally used my Work Encouragement File in corporate settings to remind myself some of the things I have accomplished throughout the year and the recognition that my efforts garnered. This really comes in handy around review time. Often the best words to give to a supervisor when you are being reviewed are their own positive words about you.
        You may be sitting there saying to yourself, “Chris, I don’t have anything to put into an Encouragement File. No one compliments me. I don’t get any letters, notes, or emails.” If this is you, and even if it’s not, I have a simple, but not easy exercise I want you to try. I want you to take out a notepad or open a blank document. Write the numbers from one to 20 down the side. Now, I want you to write down 20 things you like about yourself. These could be qualities you have, good things you have done, or improvements you have made over time. Living a Values Based Life challenges you to identify your deeply held values and also what strengths you bring to the table. If you are determined to achieve great things, you must know what you have to offer. Take your list and put a copy in your new Encouragement File. Refer back to it often. This is one of the building blocks to the life that you want,
        Another way to add things to your Encouragement File is to add to the files of others. One of my favorite quotes comes from the book of Proverbs (11:25), “A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed. Zig Ziglar, one of my favorite speakers, says it this way: “You can have anything in life that you want if, and only if, you will help enough other people get what they want.” Take a moment, write a letter, make a small investment of time to make a large investment in someone else’s life. Good things will come back to you, and when they do, you can add them to your Encouragement File. One last thing, remember that you must always be on the lookout for ways to live out who you are and help others fulfill their potential as you fulfill yours. The Encouragement File is not about resting on your laurels; it’s about building upon them.

Speaking Faith Into Someone’s Life

        In honor of Father’s Day, I want to ask my readers an important question: Are you speaking faith into someone else’s life?  Research has shown that people who feel loved and feel that someone else is paying attention to them perform at a higher level.  Simply stated, people rise to our expectations of them.  When I say “speaking faith,” I don’t necessarily mean talking about God; I mean faith in themselves.  Like you, this someone else has the seeds of Greatness inside them. The greatest gift that we can give to someone else is helping them see how special they are, and that we value their contribution.

        My challenge to you this week is to find a way to compliment someone else everyday.  Remember that “I love you” is a great compliment.  Your spouse will never get tired of hearing it, and your children can never hear it enough.  Also, look for those people who may not get the support they need on a regular basis.  Mark Twain said that he could live a whole year on one good compliment.  Let’s make it someone’s year by taking the time to invest in them.  Why should we spend the time to invest in someone else?  Zig Ziglar says that we can have anything in life that we want if we will only help enough other people get what they want.  If you want to fulfill your potential, help others fulfill theirs.  If you do this, and focus on how you can use your talents, abilities and passions to help those around you, you can add a new role to your life: leader.

        To learn about how you can further develop your leadership abilities, please visit the VBL Homepage and schedule a session with me today.  I can take you through a process that connects who you are to what you do.  When your daily actions are line with you deeply held values, you lay a credible claim to inner-peace, and can inspire and lead others.   

The Growth Plan

        Values-Based Living is about continually growing into the person you were born to be.  Recently, I described VBL Coaching to a prospective client as the process of helping him discover who he is and drafting a plan to build his life around that.  After talking to him about the components of the life plan we would develop, he asked me why his guidance counselor never taught him this process.  I think a lot of us wonder the same thing.  That is why I developed VBL, to let people know about the incredible power that comes from knowing yourself and aligning your choices and actions with who you are.

        This young man had recently graduated from a university in Nashville and is now wondering where he goes from here.  We talked briefly about how personal growth doesn’t “just happen” after a certain point in life.  When we are young, we naturally grow physically, intellectually, emotionally, and socially.  We make friends at school and other ready-made social places.  After people graduate and finish their formal education, there is often this feeling of “What’s next?” when they realize no one is there to guide their development.  I often hear the same thing from people who have been in the corporate world for a short time, but long enough to figure out that they can’t depend on HR to give them career direction.  If you are asking yourself what is next for you, I have a simple exercise that may help.

        The scariest statistic that I have encountered while helping people fulfill their potential is that after graduating high school or college, 50% of Americans never read another book.  On the other hand, the average millionaire reads at least one non-fiction book a month.  The simple truth is that leaders are readers.  If you want to grow in your life, you have to invest in yourself by giving your mind new ideas and thought to ponder.  Write down the areas of your life that you want to develop and the topics you want to know more about.  Under each heading, write down at least three books that you want to read.  For help on this, you can look at my Recommended Reading List for ideas.  Amazon is a great source for building your reading lists as well.  I encourage you to read widely and deeply in all areas of your life. The more you study the different areas of your life, the more power you can unleash in your quest for greatness.  Remember that we live in a knowledge-based economy.  If you allow your mind to atrophy for lack of new stimulation, you are destroying your ability to win. 

        If you are ready to develop a plan that will help you fulfill your potential by aligning your actions with who you are, you can schedule a coaching session with me today.  In VBL Coaching, we will look at the seven key areas of your life and help you draft a plan to connect who you are to what you do.  If you think that there is more to life that what you are currently experiencing, and want to know how VBL can help you, let me know.

Knowing Your Type

        Self-knowledge is vital to living a life that is in line with who you are.  One of the key components to who you are is your personal temperament.  The best way you can learn more about your temperament is by using the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).  I would encourage you to take the MBTI and explore what it can tell you about your natural responses to life.  You can take a free online test that is based on the MBTI by clicking here. Once you have your results, I encourage you to further explore them by clicking below to read about your personality type.  Compare your results with the corresponding pair of letters in the general headings.  If you would like to use your personality temperament to build a life that is in line with your deeply held values, please visit the VBL Homepage to schedule a consultation with a VBL Coach today.

Idealist (NF)

Rational (NT)

Artisan (SP)

Guardian (SJ)

What Does the Unseen Say About Your Life?

     Over the last few years, wiretaps and people looking at your personal records have been in the news.  Now, I don’t like the thought of someone sneaking around and looking at my personal information without my permission, but when I first started thinking of this scenario, one question popped into my mind: What would someone know about me by looking at my personal records?  When you are building your life around your deeply held values, you are consciously making choices about where you will spend your time, earn and spend your money, and the relationships you are going to build and nurture.  The starting point; however, is knowing what choices you have have been making to get to where you are today.  As a beginning exercise, I want you to create a dossier on yourself.  You are going to collect personal information about yourself that creates a composite picture of you.  For this exercise, you need four key tools: your paycheck, your checkbook, your calendar, and your address book.  Now on a sheet of paper, answer the following four questions: 

• What does your paycheck say about your passions?
• What does your checkbook say about your priorities?
• What does your calendar say about where you spend your time?
• What does your address book say about the company you keep?

The answers to those four questions are important because you are going to use them to transition from the life that you have to the life that you want.  

     One of the largest chunks of time that a person spends in a typical week goes to creating an income.  Having talked with dozens of people who have chosen to follow their passions into the workplace, I am confident that as you integrate your knowledge of yourself into your professional life, you will reap the abundance that comes from authentic living.  

     As far as your checkbook goes, Jesus said that where your treasure is, so shall be your heart.  Look at where your money is being spent.  Are you continuing to finance that purchase you couldn’t afford in the first place?  Are you giving as much you would like?  Do you have an emergency fund for a rainy day?

     Where you have you been choosing to spend your time and effort tells much about where you are.  If you are like most people, before they choose to do something about the values they hold dear, you are wasting countless hours on trivia, and things that don’t help you get to where you want to go.   Highly successful people probably couldn’t tell who got off the island, who can dance, or who can duet.

     Research suggests that your income will be within five percent of the average of your five closest friends.  Interestingly, other research suggests that your weight follows a similar pattern.  There is also a strong correlation between wealth creation and the strength of the relational bonds that a person has.  Grandma probably told you to mind the company you keep, you really should listen, it could be one of the keys to an abundant life.

     Now that you are conscious of the choices that you have been making, you are ready to use that knowledge to build the life you want.  Ask yourself:

• How can I take my values, passion, and talents into the marketplace?
• How will I choice to give, save and spend the money I have earned?
• Where will I spend my time to build relationships and develop myself?
• How can I strengthen and add to my social network, so that I can add more to my family, my community, and the world?

No wonder so many people are scared of someone looking at their personal records, they know the story the records would tell.  You are already writing the story of your life, you need not write it anonymously.

From Whom are You Demanding Greatness?

        So many times when I am talking with people about Values Based Living (VBL) and the life circumstances that have brought them to where they are today, I hear stories of things that other people did or did not do that have resulted in the life the person to which I am talking is living.  The key to the values-based life is to live intentionally, without blaming others for how things “turn out.”  The power to live a life that is in line with your deeply held values comes from realizing that you have the power of choice, and although you may not be able to control outcomes, you can choose where you put your efforts, which limits the range of possible results.

        At a recent church service, my priest told the following story:

A mother was cooking breakfast for her two young sons when she heard them in the other room arguing who was going to get the first pancake.  The mother went into the room and told her sons, “You know, if Jesus were here He would say, ‘Let my brother have the first pancake.’”  Bowing his head, apparently in shame, one brother said to the other, “This time, you be Jesus.”

        That story illustrates the first choice people make when they build the life that they don’t want; they look for others to do the right thing.  They demand greatness from others.  Placing this expectation on others is counterproductive, because your actions and implied expectations are at cross purposes. You are telling them, in effect, “Do as I say, not as I do.”  Ask any parent why this approach is difficult. 

        VBL requires you to look first at the guy or gal in the mirror when asking for greatness.  When you make it a habit to first look inside yourself and make the choice to do the right thing, you will build a life in line with your values.  You will also find that your behavior models values based living for others and can inspire them to do the right thing too.  When your daily actions are in line with your deeply held values, you will lay a credible claim to inner peace, inspire, and lead others.  Make the choice to live your values today.  It may not be easy, but it will be worth it.

Zero-Sum Living?

        I do not accept the zero-sum approach to living life.  We live in an open system where we add value to the aggregate by our shared connections.  If you add us all up, the game theory approach implies that our collective sum is zero.  Considering the great things constructed by human hands, zero-sum is not only wrong, it is insulting.    

        Created by our Creator, in His image, we are meant to create.  We are meant to add value to our families, our communities, and our world by contributing our individual skills, abilities and efforts.  The Bible says not to hide your light.  No value is added when you fail to contribute yours to the shared effort.

        Basing your interactions with others on the zero-sum paradigm cheapens yourself and cuts short your human destiny.

        If you would like to discover your unique gifts and how to use them to create the life that you want, visit the VBL homepage to schedule an appointment with a VBL Coach today.

Welcome to VBL

Welcome to Values-Based Living.  

        Ghandi famously inspired others to “Be the change they wish to see in the world.”  That is what Values Based Living is all about.  

        Many people are unhappy about the life they find themselves living.  They feel empty inside and wonder if this is all there is.  The reason for their despair is they are not living an authentic life.  Most of the time what they do is not consistent with who they are.  If you persist in living a life that is not rooted in who you are, you are cheating yourself out of inner peace, and the feeling that your efforts matter.

        The simple promise of VBL is that if your daily actions are in line with your deeply held values, you lay a credible claim to inner peace, can inspire and lead others.  The VBL process is simple.  First, we help you clarify your talents, skills, abilities, temperament, and leadership style.  Next, we help you develop a life plan by helping you set goals that are consistent with who you are, vision the successful outcomes of those goals, and set next actions to draft a game-plan for you as you build a fulfilling life that is consistent with who you really are.

        Are you ready to fulfill your potential?  Are you ready to discover what God put you on this earth to do?  Are you ready to own your own power?  I invite you to join me in a journey of introspection.  You can visit the VBL Homepage to learn more about Values Based Living and contact me for coaching.  I can provide the tools to help you do the work in order to live your values.  I welcome your questions and look forward to the world we can build together.  Good luck in your journey!  I cannot tell you that it will be easy, but I can and will promise that it will be worth it.