So many times when I am talking with people about Values Based Living (VBL) and the life circumstances that have brought them to where they are today, I hear stories of things that other people did or did not do that have resulted in the life the person to which I am talking is living. The key to the values-based life is to live intentionally, without blaming others for how things “turn out.” The power to live a life that is in line with your deeply held values comes from realizing that you have the power of choice, and although you may not be able to control outcomes, you can choose where you put your efforts, which limits the range of possible results.
At a recent church service, my priest told the following story:
A mother was cooking breakfast for her two young sons when she heard them in the other room arguing who was going to get the first pancake. The mother went into the room and told her sons, “You know, if Jesus were here He would say, ‘Let my brother have the first pancake.’” Bowing his head, apparently in shame, one brother said to the other, “This time, you be Jesus.”
That story illustrates the first choice people make when they build the life that they don’t want; they look for others to do the right thing. They demand greatness from others. Placing this expectation on others is counterproductive, because your actions and implied expectations are at cross purposes. You are telling them, in effect, “Do as I say, not as I do.” Ask any parent why this approach is difficult.
VBL requires you to look first at the guy or gal in the mirror when asking for greatness. When you make it a habit to first look inside yourself and make the choice to do the right thing, you will build a life in line with your values. You will also find that your behavior models values based living for others and can inspire them to do the right thing too. When your daily actions are in line with your deeply held values, you will lay a credible claim to inner peace, inspire, and lead others. Make the choice to live your values today. It may not be easy, but it will be worth it.
Tags: behavior, choice, development, leadership, life, mission, modeling, potential, values, VBL
